New Year, New Goals, New devotions

Wow, is it really January already?  What a year 2012 was.  I got extremely far behind on my blogging, but have re-devoted myself to telling my story.  The story of Alison Lyne.  Wife of Brian, mother of Taylor and Abigail.  I have high expectations for the new year!  

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and a Happy New Year.  For those of you, whom do not celebrate Christmas I hope you had a wonderful holiday season.  I know our family enjoyed it.  

We now come to the part of year with resolutions and cold...especially those of us in the North East.  This season seems like the longest one because the nights start so early and it seems to always be dreary.  With this season comes new beginnings.  I know that I am especially happy for the new friendships I have made in the past few months and for those I will make in the upcoming ones.  Friendships are funny they come and they go, like an ocean tide.  Each friendship bringing you something different, but unexpectedly needed.  Another new beginning is the ability for ALL of us to start over.  To make a commitment to ourselves to be ourselves and not who others want us to be.  A time to commit to make ourselves, our lives and the lives around us a little better, but for me I'm making a commitment to make life easier for those who are part of my circle.  This circle includes those I know and those I come in contact with.  You see we teach by what we do and if I can make life easier for just 1 person they might be able to do the same.

We are only given as much as we can handle

Well, its taken me a while to jump back on here and update everyone.  It's been a CRAZY couple of months.  How does one actually jump back into blogging anyway?
     On Dec. 26th, our family found out that our group of 4 would become a cozy group of 5.  There were so many emotions...we were nervous.  We had not planned this, but we hadn't planned Abbie either so we knew we would be ok.  We were happy, but guarded.  I suffer from hyperemesis.  A condition during pregnancy that causes you to vomit excessively (not normal morning sickness)and loose weight putting both the baby and mother at risk.  I vowed this time would be different.  I immediately called my Functional Medicinist and made an appointment to see if we could somehow limit the morning sickness.  I also started looking into a new OB.  The group I used just seemed to be getting too big and I always saw someone different which made me a little nervous, but in the long run I decided to just stay because they knew my history.
     On Jan 9th, I had my first sono. and Dr.s appt.  We couldn't find a heartbeat, but there was an egg sack and a yolk.  We made an appt for the next week and didn't worry.  I never mentioned a thing to my husband because he was on the road and our little one had just come down with pneumonia and a double ear infection so he had enough to worry about.  I continued to go to the OB for 3 consecutive weeks with the same results only difference was the Dr.'s starting talking about ending the pregnancy.    (I do not believe in abortion for myself, it is every one's choice but for me its not an option.)  During this time, I started getting sick Dr.'s place me on phenegren to control the vomiting, but I was losing weight and just continued on a downhill spiral.  I visited my functional medicinist and was given IV fluids because I was so dehydrated.  I'm not sure how I continued the day to day activities, but I did.  My husband returned from his business trip Jan. 27th and that's when everything just got worse.
     On Wed. Feb. 1st, my husband and I went to the OB together.  This time there was a change and not for the good.  There was still no heartbeat, but this time the gestational sack and decreased in size.  The reality was that the pregnancy had "failed" and I was either going to have a miscarriage or have to have a D & C to remove the tissue before infection began.  I did not want the surgery!  I felt that it would happen naturally and I was going to let it happen naturally.  Later that evening, when I told my 8yr old what happened I started thinking worst case scenario:  My husband traveling I'm home with the kids, and have a miscarriage hemorrhage.  At that point, I decided it would be safer for all involved to just have the surgery.  We called and scheduled it for Mon. Feb. 6th.  The nurse emailed all the paperwork and to my dismay the title of the consent forms was:  "SUCTION CURETTAGE FOR MISSED ABORTION"  I was already emotional and this just put me over the top.  I later found out that any miscarriage in the first trimester is considered a missed abortion, but it doesn't make it any easier.  The last thing I was doing was ending the pregnancy.
     It was horrible waiting.  I was still vomiting and had lost about 20 lbs at this point.  My hair was falling out because of the lack of protein and fats in my diet.  It was a nightmare.  On top of all that, it was like a death march either I was going to miscarry over the weekend or the surgery would be Monday.
     On Mon. Feb.6th, my husband drove me to the hospital.  It was weird neither of us really said a word on the hour and 1/2 ride.  Once at the hospital, they took me and started getting me ready for the procedure.  I was met with nurses stating that if I had the flu they did not want me there.  Really??  If people just had one ounce of compassion they would have seen that I didn't have the flu.   I waited in the pre-surgical area for hours.  I had the surgery and was home by 9pm.  I came home and slept.  
    My recovery was extremely slow.  Finally on Saturday, February 18th I felt good.  I should have I mean it was 19 days post op.  I was actually able to help around the house without much discomfort. I had my first normal meal baked pork chops with sweet potatoes.  No butter, no grease, but it was a meal which I hadn't had for months.  It only took about an hr before I knew something was wrong.  I started vomiting excessively and had the most excruciating pain.  I mean I'd rather be in labor for 2 days then undergo this pain.  I started pacing and tried to just relax, but 2 hrs later I was on my way to the ER.  
     It was 11pm  when I was registered and taken to the back.  I spoke with the doctor and he felt that it could be my gallbladder.  I was given morphine for the pain and once it subsided they performed 2 ultra sounds.  The results gallstones.  I stayed overnight and went home Sunday morning with the strict instructions to follow up with a surgeon and my primary care Dr. no later than Tuesday.  They also changed my diet to clear liquids until I had a follow up.
     I was unable to make appt on Monday due to President's Day Observations.  On Tuesday morning, I called both Dr's and when I finally got someone to listen my primary care Dr. wanted to see me immediately.  I drove to the office and within 25 minutes I found myself being admitted to the local hospital in preparation for gallbladder surgery.   I couldn't believe I was undergoing a 2nd surgery in 15 days.  I was already tired, achy and just plain ready to give up.  It had been an emotional roller coaster and now as I'm beginning to feel better I have to start everything over again.
     On Tuesday, Feb. 21st, at 7pm my gallbladder was removed and I started the recovery process all over again.  I stayed one night in the hospital.  Upon discharge I was extremely nervous because I had a lot of pain in areas I never expected.  The recovery went fast.  I mean super fast, but I found myself doing too much and falling behind a little.  
     Here we are on March 1st and I feel great.  I'm tired and sore, but I have finally kept an entire days worth of food down.  I have lost nearly 45lbs, since Dec. 26th and not from trying.  (I hope to keep it off).  I don't know how to describe it, but my digestive organs feel good and I am finally on the mend.
    For me, I'd love to forget February 2012, but if I did that I'd forget the hope and joy I had felt in the beginning.  Sure I felt despair, defeat, anguish and many other emotions during the month, but I also felt love and saw the love my children had for the sibling that they will never get to meet.  I still have a long way to go both emotionally and physically, but GOD didn't create the world in a day.  He took his time to make sure it was done according to his plan, so I think that's what I'll do.  Day by Day, Step by Step and eventually I will be where I need and want to be.

What's more important than expressing oneself?

I am in the process of developing (I use that term lightly)a "Young Author's" program my daughters class and since I'm already creating it from the ground up I am going to pitch it to the principal and superintendent to see if it can be a school wide event.  When I was in elementary school, we did have a program by that title.  The idea behind it was that the students all created books using their own writings.  It could be a collection of short stories, chapters or even a picture book.  The only requirement was that the student write, draw and create the story using their ideas.  They would then create a cover in art class which would tie it all together.  These books were then entered into a school wide contest.  Winners advancing to the district level and then states.  My goal is just to get the kids writing.  I want them to have opportunities to express themselves, ideas, and creativity.  At the same time, I want them to develop great knowledge of writing and how it works.
I am horrible at writing.  I have poor grammar I know it, but I'm working on it and I hope that I can keep them from making the same mistakes I do.

My Favorite things

So after posting about Coldwater Creek I thought I'd share a list of my favorite things :)

Favorite clothing boutique Art and Soul Boutique I love their skirts 
Favorite place to buy Tutus Goosie Girl Boutique
Favorite bags Vera Bradley
Favorite band www.sugarlandmusic.com
Favorite Ereader Kindle although I would love to get my hands on the Fire
Favorite place for kids clothing Children's Place my kids can't seem to wear out their clothes...thats a good thing :)

There's more, but they'll have to wait till after dinner :)

Wow, has it really been 2 days since I've posted?  Well, a lot has happened.  We had a relaxing weekend for the most part.  We played together and did family clean ups.  Then, Taylor managed to present Brian and I with a "cheaper way" to get an American Girl Bunkbed and spend time with Brian at the same time.  The results a trip to Home Depot for supplies and some father/daughter time working together on customizing the bunkbed set!  Can't wait to see it.
Then last night, Abbie decided (yes I think it was a decision :) ) to fall out of bed around 12am.  She then proceeded to tell daddy she wanted to cuddle with only him.  So, what does this good mommy do? I take advantage of the lack of desire and hit the couch, so I can sleep and he can deal with her.  What I didn't realize was that it wasn't going to last long and she ended up on the couch with me.  ARGH!!  No sleep here.  Thank god Taylor is self motivated and likes school because she got up and got ready only waking me at the last minute to make lunch!  What a good kid!
Well, here it is Tuesday and I had my first Weight Watchers weigh in and the results ........... I lost 3.4lbs and I don't want to find them :).  I'm hoping to recover after a quick run to the grocery store that cost $100...really I didn't get much of anything.  On a good note, I love Coldwater Creek.  I sent them an email last week because I had purchased (much to my amazement)a pair of jeans from them on Sept. 10th and last week the stitching started to come out.  The issue at hand is I live almost 2 hrs from the nearest store and really have no desire to drive all the way there.  They sent me out a new pair of jeans which I received today no questions asked!  Way to go Coldwater Creek!  Great Customer Service!

Rest in Peace Luna.....

Luna and Abigail Summer 2010                  

Taylor and Luna Summer 2010

I wanted to put a quick post up to remember our good friend.  This weekend was a tough one, we lost our beloved god-dog Luna.  Luna you will forever be remember as the pet we never had and one of the only dogs I've loved!  We will miss your weekend visits.  See you on the other side.